I feel lost sometimes, mostly frustrated on any given day. There is so much more that I want out of life. I know what I want... I'm not 100% certain how to get there and I am simply hoping the steps I am taking will make it happen.
The whole process feels tiring and I am exhausted. Daily the idea of lying down, staring blankly at Netflix is so appealing, yet if I do, there is this very small voice telling me to get up, write, create, send out a query, research a magazine, what articles have the magazines you want to write for have published from the past six months. I go to click the mouse on the computer and traditionally end up going to the next show on Netflix. Mentally check out... I am trying to suck it at with my day job, it is not the greatest job, it is not the worst of jobs. I don't want to announce how displeased I am with the position as it is what pays the bills right now. It is also a position I need to keep me employed until the next step comes along and I do not know when that will be. For now, I keep hoping I can go home to see my family for Christmas, pursue writing to supplement my income and continue to gain credibility as a writer.
Thankfully, I have good resources, friends who are in the profession who are kind enough to encourage me and keep me sustained as I pursue my goals. It cannot be denied I pray those goals come to fruition sooner rather than later. Maintaining that energy is not always easy while working full time, with two part time jobs. Things are good, I just want better...and I keep pushing myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I can gain some ground and get there.
No comments:
Post a Comment