Aldi's

This morning I was walking into Aldi's and I realized, for the past three years I have been going to this location.  Three years ago I was substantially struggling with life. I had no home, I had no job, and I was heartbroken. Each day I was taking baby steps to piece it all together just to get through the moment so I could heal.
Now, three years later I am still going to the same Aldi's. This time I am in a different position. I have one full time job and three part time jobs. Steady paychecks coming in to pay the bills and help me get caught up on the debt that has piled up over the years. I am not broken, but not fully healed either. Not yet.
The new situation of stress in my life is my day job. I am very thankful and grateful for this job and very grateful for the paycheck that comes every two weeks. However, I am immensely unhappy and gradually becoming more and more unhealthy. What is the true cost to having a paycheck from a company who is running you into the ground and taking advantage of you? Yet, here I am walking in through the sliding glass doors, knowing I am still on a tight budget, but not scared I won't be able to afford vegetables and fruits for my chickens. However, as I walk through the aisles of this small grocery store, I am fighting tears, doing what I can to avoid eye contact so I don't have a moment of weakness that would make me start to cry.
While I don't know what to do exactly here, I do need a job, I want to get ahead and ideally I want to buy a house in the next few months. In order to do that - I need to work, and keep this current position so I can stay in good standing with the bank for my potential house loan. I want to try and keep this job until May, then I can go enjoy their company picnic, and hopefully have found more rewarding employment by then. I'm burnt out, frustrated, unhappy, and desire to be in a completely different career field. Which is why when one has a goal, they need to find the drive within them to pursue it. The road to success is paved with a million stories. Everyone has gotten to where they are differently.
We are all on our own journey. Often we will have set backs, fall down, skin our knees, have hurt feelings, but we have to get up and move forward. Maybe all you can do is take the smallest steps in the world as you fight through your hurt and pain. It doesn't matter the size of the step, you just have to take them one foot in front of the other. What is amazing about our journey is the people, the life experiences that we will encounter and endure during those steps which are being taken.
Then, the next thing you know, three years have passed, and you have more wisdom, more of a life lived, and the hurt is even further behind you.
No matter where you are today, you can be somewhere completely different tomorrow, next month or next year. Maybe your physical location is the same, but the path to where you truly want to be in life, can be achieved with hard work and dedication.
It certainly will not be easy - no one ever said this would be easy and those who have, lied. However, that hard work you put in today will pay off, maybe not immediately, but with time you will see a change. IF you want to put in the effort.

Hatred

Yesterday, a man I know casually on Facebook posted how his daughter from Haiti experienced racism yesterday. He expressed how he was sad his daughter would go through such a thing.

While it is horribly awful for anyone to experience racism, you can experience ignorance in so many aspects. As parents, you want to protect your child from any kind of harm. However, sad and hurt feelings are a part of life, and it is how we react to them what really matters. If we are never taught how to handle being sad, hurt or scared in our youth, we won't ever know how to handle them as adults. That can potentially lead to a variety of vices, which often are not healthy.
When we face situations which cause hurt, sadness, anger, frustration, in our lives and especially in the lives of our children, use that as an opportunity to learn, to empower, uplift. Teach to show words of kindness and love to others. We all experience these emotions, and it is important to learn how to handle hurt feelings, so as we grow and begin to experience these emotions at work, at play, at church and any place life leads us, we are equipped to do our best to be our best. Because the only way to become our best self, is by being pushed to get out there.
When you experience hurt, sadness, or an emotion that brings you down, work through that hurt. Find the strength to push forward, and have peace in your heart.
We have hate in the world we live in, and it is how we react to it that matters.

Life Altering

When I wake up in the morning it is to the blaring of an alarm clock. Often I hit snooze anywhere from fifteen to thirty minutes. I have been doing this routine of my current position since April, by the middle of June, I was burnt out.
Seeking a better life is what I am trying to do. I'm not afraid of hard work, I welcome it. However, more and more I am finding myself only focused on work and not the kind that drives me or motivates me. My heart wants more, it desires more and I am seeking more.
Tomorrow I will get the news of an opportunity which God has brought to me not just once, but twice. It would be a blessing to say the least. Working for an incredible organization, working with a group of intelligent and driven individuals who are wonderfully approachable. This opportunity, simply put, would alter my life.
I would be able to back almost completely away from the doctors office I work in on Saturday's. I would have the time to pursue my writing. Depending on my work performance will depend on the amount of hours which will over the course of time and results, potentially will increase the hours to this position. As that won't happen over night, the door to that position becoming full time lies in wait.
I have to believe in my heart if this opportunity is meant to be, it will be.
My heart is ready for a change. I'm worn out, tired, and working for a company which -as my mother puts it- takes advantage of me, I have to believe that God has something better waiting for me.