Nashville, Tennessee

I never knew there was more than one Nashville, in the United States until I had been here for well over a year.
I moved to Nashville for a couple of reasons, one I needed a job and the market was stronger here than in Memphis.  Another, I could afford it.  One thing which was substantial, I felt safe here, which in itself now rings irony.
This weekend I ran into a new friend who has become very dear.  We were discussing how we both have lived in various areas across the US.  How we have become with the constant moving, I know I have lost the desire to be a roaming gypsy.  During our conversation my friend commented how she loves Nashville.  She loves everything about the city, loves knowing her way around and considers this her home.
I was thinking about this today, and I cannot say I love Nashville, TN.  I think at one point I did, but now, I don't know how I feel about it.  I do enjoy it here.  I felt I needed to stop moving in hopes I could save money and get ahead.  At times when I contemplate leaving and figuring out where I would move to, I realize that I will miss it here.  I do enjoy knowing how to zip around this very big town.  I like knowing all the little spots to go for pretty much anything.  I put in a lot of effort to learn my way around this big city, and I have adapted as it has grown over the past several years.  Even though I don't love it here, I like the various things this town has to offer.  I can't even wrap my head around loving it some place.  Yet, oddly I kind of can, as I reflect on Portland, Oregon and how I worked so hard to make the best of a dire situation, I have very fond memories of that city and that area.  I often wish it wasn't so far away from Wisconsin as I could easily return there to live, to thrive.  Yet, the idea of being even further away from my family just doesn't seem like an option.
Where I do believe there will come a day when I leave here, for now, this is where I reside.  Until that day I will continue to do all I can to make the best out of being here.

View from Broadway - downtown, Nashville, TN

Women....Be Nice!

I got a call from my friend Mersades today while she was at lunch.  She was needing to talk to someone because she had upset someone at her office.  Mersades background is a MA, which is what she went to school for and a conversation about a MA came up at work.  Apparently this office had a second location in which they were trying to hire a MA.  The current MA was commenting how she had Friday's and Saturday's off, which is the days they needed someone in that other office.  Mersades joined into the conversation and the next thing she knew she was being shut out and interrupted.  Figuring out this other girl wanted the attention to herself, she backed out of the conversation.
When she showed up this morning, the two office girls she normally gets along with very well, enjoys having breakfast with were separated away from her.  When she tried to join in conversation she was ignored and by the time lunch came along and she asked where they were going, she was told she basically was not invited.
She never meant to offend anyone and she was calling me just to rant about the situation.  At one point she said, "you know how those black girls are, always drama, at least these two are"  I laughed, because Mersades is black, and I went to remind her this as a joke and said, "You know Mersades, you are a black girl"
"She said I have always been told I am too white by the black folks, I'm a white girl trapped in a black girls body, get me out of here!"

Regardless, people are people and for some reason women who work in large clusters or even small groups tend to drift towards having some sort of issues with one another.  It is not something I always understand, and when you are the one ganged up on it is far from fun.  It becomes awkward, uncomfortable and lacks all professionalism.  Men seem to just stay out of each others way if they don't like one another, and yet are able to approach the individual they don't get along with if they need to in any situation. 
I'm not saying women should be more like men, I just don't get why extending a little patience, understanding and increasing our tolerance is so difficult for some of us. 

I told Mersades to go back in after lunch and try to make nice.  Apologize and let them know she really enjoys working with them and never meant to be inappropriate.  She balked at first saying she didn't want to apologize with them having such an attitude.  I told her there were many times in my life I had to suck it up and apologize for things I was never sorry for, but it made for good graces.  Sometimes we just gotta do something to make good even if it doesn't make any sense.  At the end of the day, it doesn't take all that much effort just to be extra nice to someone, because you never know what they may be going through, and you making that effort might just help make their day a little better.

...The next day...
I checked in with Mersades this morning and asked her how things were at the office.  She said she apologized and the girl told her she was still not going to speak to her for a week.
What is wrong with people?  Are some individual's lives so shallow that they find this behavior to be acceptable?  I just want to ask, "Who raised you to be like that?" 

Then you have people like my friend Jude, who called me lunch yesterday.  I was at work and surrounded by nurses when she called so I couldn't answer.  She texted me saying she needed to talk to me.  I texted back saying I would call her soon as I went to lunch.  She then messaged me saying she was going to get a friend of hers, and they were going to come to Nashville to fix the brakes on my truck so I wouldn't be stranded.
How incredibly nice is this, I was overcome with such kindness.  She is such a wonderful blessing.  I felt awful I had not told her yet that my issues with my truck from a week ago were my u-joint, that the truck was towed into a repair shop and fixed.  Here she was going to come completely out of her way just to help me.  How incredible is that?  It just goes to show, there are good people in the world, and God has certainly blessed me with some amazing people who I am fortunate enough to call, friend.

Working on a Book...

Isn't that what writers who want to be published authors do?  Work on books they hope to present to publishers with the hopes and desires to get published?  I am currently working through what Anne Lamont calls, "the shitty first draft" of one book I really deeply desire to see go somewhere.  In the meanwhile I am working on this fun piece about my life, the trials, the tests, the challenges that each of us face each day, but hopefully with a fun and enjoyable spin on it.  Who knows maybe someone waltzing through life will come across it one day and have it uplift them just a little bit realizing that they are not the only one in the world who's life is not perfect...or where they thought life would be once upon a time.
While I watch so many people younger than me, cousins, friends, family members take the steps to get married, buy houses, enter careers and make strides in their life, I sit here pondering...what did I do so wrong?  How did I take so many left turns when I guess I should have gone straight or turned right?  It seemed like a good idea at the time I suppose, but it has lead me to some great frustration lately.  Life is far from where I want it to be, and sometimes picking myself up from falling face down again and again gets to be increasingly difficult.  Yet, once again, after a MAJOR emotional melt down I had last Thursday, here I am with the decision that I am going to step out in faith and let God lead the way.
I had to find some peace as I was completely losing it and I don't want to live life in despair or depressed.  I prayed about my situation, asked God for guidance, drove out to one of my favorite places just outside of of Nashville and talked to God.  Then, with God's hand I called my best friend who did what she rarely does, she answered, and after talking she told me I needed to step out in faith and believe that good is on its way.  The answer I was needing - God spoke through my best friend, probably because He knew I would listen to her.
So, that is exactly what I am doing.  Living with joy in my heart, prayer in my mind and trusting with great hope that good things are to come.

My truck is running well.  I am scheduled for a weeks worth of hours this week, my motivation to write has been strong, thanks to God and I am stepping out with expectation of good things.  I was able to get the rough draft of three article queries done yesterday, and now to fine tune them and get them prepared to be sent off to publications with hope and a prayer.
Life is not always easy, and I don't know where I am going, just know where I hope I am heading for those things I desire so deeply in my heart.