Isn't that what writers who want to be published authors do? Work on books they hope to present to publishers with the hopes and desires to get published? I am currently working through what Anne Lamont calls, "the shitty first draft" of one book I really deeply desire to see go somewhere. In the meanwhile I am working on this fun piece about my life, the trials, the tests, the challenges that each of us face each day, but hopefully with a fun and enjoyable spin on it. Who knows maybe someone waltzing through life will come across it one day and have it uplift them just a little bit realizing that they are not the only one in the world who's life is not perfect...or where they thought life would be once upon a time.
While I watch so many people younger than me, cousins, friends, family members take the steps to get married, buy houses, enter careers and make strides in their life, I sit here pondering...what did I do so wrong? How did I take so many left turns when I guess I should have gone straight or turned right? It seemed like a good idea at the time I suppose, but it has lead me to some great frustration lately. Life is far from where I want it to be, and sometimes picking myself up from falling face down again and again gets to be increasingly difficult. Yet, once again, after a MAJOR emotional melt down I had last Thursday, here I am with the decision that I am going to step out in faith and let God lead the way.
I had to find some peace as I was completely losing it and I don't want to live life in despair or depressed. I prayed about my situation, asked God for guidance, drove out to one of my favorite places just outside of of Nashville and talked to God. Then, with God's hand I called my best friend who did what she rarely does, she answered, and after talking she told me I needed to step out in faith and believe that good is on its way. The answer I was needing - God spoke through my best friend, probably because He knew I would listen to her.
So, that is exactly what I am doing. Living with joy in my heart, prayer in my mind and trusting with great hope that good things are to come.
My truck is running well. I am scheduled for a weeks worth of hours this week, my motivation to write has been strong, thanks to God and I am stepping out with expectation of good things. I was able to get the rough draft of three article queries done yesterday, and now to fine tune them and get them prepared to be sent off to publications with hope and a prayer.
Life is not always easy, and I don't know where I am going, just know where I hope I am heading for those things I desire so deeply in my heart.
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