I am so torn on where I should be, what I should be doing.
Yesterday, I had my first photo shoot booked after I closed my mind to the idea of pursuing photography anymore. In 30 minutes I made a fair sum, and spent majority of today editing the images. I was relatively pleased with how my lighting turned out. Last night I spent debating on whether or not I should return to trying to make the photography thing work for me.
I haven't had the energy to work on writing and desperately want to be sending out article queries.
I want more to my life. I need to make more money - and I want to work independently from home. I want to be a full time writer.
How is it that I have it in my heart to pursue two of the most difficult careers to get into and be successful at in life? Yet, here I am, feeling lost, confused, and sad.
I don't know how to get there. I want to have a blog where I write about my cooking and baking. I want to have regular articles getting published in national magazines and various newspapers. On top of all of that - I want to have successful published books which end up number one on the New York Times Best Sellers list. To be able to get up, go outside let my dog play while I feed my chickens. Go in for breakfast, slowly get my day started and then write to my hearts content.
Then at night, relax, enjoy some Netflix with dinner and hopefully a good man by my side.
It hurts to know how much I want that - with no idea how to get there.
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