Each and every day I get up and out of bed, I give Thanks to God for being another day closer to the desires of my heart. I pray for two people who came into my life six months ago. I am grateful to be a part of their lives as they are very good people.
I met Felipe in August on Plenty of Fish, he goes by a different name, but that will work for this online presence. He has told me on several occasions he likes me. At one point he told me he has feelings for me. A little over a week ago he told me he liked me, he knew I liked him, and he admitted to me he was too sick. He was sick emotionally and sick physically and was not healthy for an "us".
This to me was a baby step for him to hopefully be able to find it within himself to seek the help he needs. Whatever happens between me and this man, I know God is at the helm and will guide me through it. If Felipe is the one for me, God will show me the way. Until then, I am honored to be a part of his life and his Mom's life and offer kindness, love and support.
Not hearing from him for over a week has me missing him and worried about him. Each day I pray I will hear from him, as I don't like not hearing from him. When I am in his presence I feel calm and at peace. I find his intelligence to be sexy, he is sweet and gentle. I keep praying God will allow him to be vulnerable again, and turn to me, that God will allow him to be surrounded by good people who are loving and kind and helps him make good decisions.
He is a good man, and deserves to have a better, more healthy life. His Mom is amazing and deserves kindness, love and peace in her life. I am blessed and honored to be allowed to be a part of her journey and have God let me be there for her.
Yesterday was discouraging, as I work for a company called, Aegis while I pursue my writing career. The doctor in the office where I am assigned has the potential to be mean, and vicious. She took her frustration out on me yesterday, threatened me with my job, told me "job security comes from doing more than our job description". I stood there in silence because I knew if I said anything I would be under attack. I also thought to myself how she really does not know what I do for that office while she is not around. I cannot in any capacity do work in her office or I could lose my job. Secondly, I do a lot in that office when she is with patients that helps her office. I help her staff as much as I can. I even helped her staff members and her yesterday by walking them through what needs to be done. But, she decided to make it about her, and be dramatic and lied to my boss that I sat on my ass and told her I would not help. That was far from the truth. I stood behind her and her new front desk worker and explained what they needed to do.
There are some things I don't remember how to do because I have not done it in over a year.
It was horribly uncomfortable. She also made a point to call my boss and bitch about me yesterday after I left. She texted me to let me and only me know, I would not be coming in today as the office "may be closed". No one else received that text.
It is an awful feeling. It is sick. I pray this is God's way of reminding me to get focused on my goals, my writing so I can be free from the doctor bitch from hell.
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