This weekend I felt sad, lonely and depressed. I want to have someone in my life to share my life. A week ago I had plans with this amazing guy, we have been talking and spending time together for five months now. Last Sunday, we had a really great time together, and he told me he could really see us for the long haul. We talked about kids, a life together, it was this organic and euphoric natural progress. Then I made him uncomfortable on Wednesday, I brought over soup and a sandwich for him and his mom. I left it on the door step and left for a meeting I had in their area. He called not too happy with me, but we talked it though, he said he liked me, and we ended on a good note. He said he would text me.
There has been nothing.
It makes me sad. It is not unusual for him to disappear like this, but I enjoy talking to him and I know he enjoys me and our conversation.
Once all my activities ended on Saturday, there was this emptiness. I felt sad, alone, depressed. I can be as busy as I want with anything I want, but that doesn't change that empty space in my heart. The place where I desire to have someone in my life. Someone who wants to spend their life with me, make a life with me, make decisions with me.
All I can do is pray for this man, hope he can overcome his obstacles and ask God to guide me each and every day, while He fills my heart with hope, love, joy and peace.
Until that day when I officially have a special man in my life as my boyfriend with the hope for a future together...I continue to wait.
which sucks.
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